I Understand

Once upon a time I found myself mystified by the horrors of the world. Trained to be a soldier as I grew older I found the little boy that I once was fading away. I had to grow up and accept the fact that there is a part of life hidden and once I comprehended these truths my mind became clear. I wrote this piece after watching a documentary about a soldier who I assume was battling with some very serious mental issues, but did not know where to go for help. Later on in the video she killed her daughter. I wrote this piece not because I felt she was innocent, but I wrote it for those people who are mentally ill. Having this experience myself at one point in my life it actually made me a better person. It humbled me to understand that the science of fear can rewire the brain. I am numb to the problems of the world but I wrote this piece to say I understand. I have come to learn to think for myself and to wake up everyday grateful that I have something to do, learn, and teach. I have learned that no one is perfect and we all play the fool sometimes so here’s a poem:

In darkness we cannot see but we can feel.

I understand what it’s like to be blind.

When looking at the sun I cannot see but I can feel.

I say again, I understand what it’s like to be blind.

In a car with loud music my eardrums vibrate and I cannot hear a thing.

I understand what it’s like to be deaf.

On a busy street after my car just ran out of gas and I have no money to get it fixed I begin begging for help.

I now understand.

Watching the news I see people suffering from the woes of war, I take the time to listen to the survivors problems, they’re angry, frustrated, and many of them have no where to go.

Begging for help I now understand.

I’ve come to learn why we’re here. I’ve come to understand why we do the things we do, say the things we say and feel the way we do.

I now understand.

Why out of all of God’s creation do humans feel emotions? Why do we think? Why do we feel? If we’re made by something or someone, why?

The questions are complex, but after watching a child teach me a valuable lesson, I’ve come to learn that some things are just out of our control. I now understand.

Life is a jungle that we all get lost in, it’s a street with many lanes, and a sky with many colors. It’s a world filled with both beautiful and ugly things and one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

My war may be someone else’s story to tell and my death may bring others back to life. We’re all in one big sphere of life, some people are in 2D and some are in 3D. Some people see in black and white and some see color. In a free society some turn to religion and some turn to constructive thinking.

Even if you’ve never met me, it may not seem like it at times, but I understand, no need to fight, no need to get upset…

I understand.

The Good Friends

Peter the bird found himself grounded in someone’s yard.

“Hey, Howard, is that Peter down there?” Peter’s friend Mellisa asked as her and Howard took to the sky.

“It sure is Peter,” Howard replied.

The two birds swooped down to see why Peter was not flying in the sky on a good day.

“Peter, why are you grounded, don’t you know that this house has a cat?” Mellisa said.

Peter pointed his beak at his bad wing.

“It’s my wing Mellisa, it hurts. Thanks for checking on me.”

“That’s what friends are for Peter,” Howard explained as he and Melissa took ahold of Peter and flew him to his nest.

“Stay here Peter until you feel better. We’ll both check on you and drop you a worm until you’re back in the sky,” Mellissa said watching Peter get comfortable in his nest.

Filled with relief, Peter couldn’t help but thank his friends while dwelling on how helpless he was in a stranger’s yard. He could have been a cat’s lunch. Sometimes in life we forget the importance of friendship. In Peter’s case friendship saved his life. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get people back on the right path. When Peter got better he never forgot the friends who took the time to help him and it made the friendship even stronger.

The Good Friends

The Black Jesus

As a child I watched your people sell you into slavery.

Your God abandoned you and left you to fight for yourself.

Or did he?

I then watched as drugs and corrupted riches infected your entire bloodline, communities, jungles, and inheritance.

Who dare split you into colonialism feasting off of your rich lands?

You’ve never been called by your real name.

Left alone as your parents got drunk in late night clubs as you were left tormented alone in a room.

Left alone constantly looked upon as evil.

Never good enough, burned, hung with no hero only a song naked in a field of cotton.

Mixed up from birth as rats and vengeful animals and insects swarm around your poor household.

Left to hate, be bitter and alone.

A heathen, an infidel, a negro with no knowledge of self or love.

Read you dummy. 

Read and stick together, don’t die like me, alone on a cross.

Aborted and left for dead.

There is more to this story as you fellowship in the jungles of the world killing and betraying each other daily.

Judah, is a lion that never dies, he only gets stronger because his rage gives him enough strength to never look back.

He sits alone in the jungle knowing that without him nothing exist.

Wheezing and breathing hard after fighting the eternal fight he roars to the mountains and dies a thousand times only to keep rising.

He finds peace around all colors, he finds a home scattered in all lands.

The Black Jesus

Dive in!

What color is the water?

From space, on Earth day, you would probably say blue.

Did you know that there are a lot of people who are afraid of the water.

To dive in is a fear that many of us have.

Truly friend, the world is one big ocean.

People fleeing their country often drown in the ocean attempting to discover a new home.

It’s massive, the world is big.

Craving air, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to leave my comfort zone.

I heard of a man complaining about dirty water, but honestly, what is clean?

I jump off of the platform.

The Earth is a sphere that makes things up from the same stuff everyday and it’s impossible for me to discover it all so to see some of it,  I dive in!

It can get a little crazy on Earth 🌍 day so just dive in!

Don’t be afraid.

Explore

Dive in!

The Sunset

The hardest part was letting go.

After cleaning and draining out the entire swamp I stood on top of a mountain alone waiting for God to tell me what to do next.

While waiting, I stood still while watching the sunset.

In the end I had to comprehend that I did nothing wrong. I was just addicted to righteousness.

God made me do it.

The Sunset

The Hostages

Chained to a cement floor I could smell the funk of burning flesh. We’d been captured by foreign terrorist. My thirst for a glass of water while feeling the sweat drip off of my dirty face I recalled my last moments in my cozy home. Scraping my fingernails against the floor, I begged for a meal, but the guard paid me no attention. In deep regret for not listening to my parents who wanted me to stay home instead of taking a foreign trip, I was now doomed. I began to scream for help. I had been in the same spot for days and all I could think of was how so many people don’t know how good they have it, even if they don’t have much. I yearned for a hot meal, I yearned to fall asleep in front of the television while my children were safe in my arms. In the distance I could hear my wife Lillian screaming for help as they tortured and raped her. Tormented already, I knew I was next. Trembling in fear I closed my eyes as they dragged my daughter into the room and tortured her right in front of me while they forced me to watch. Crumbled up in my little cell corner, they torched me with hot steam, and I couldn’t help but beg for God’s mercy as I felt flesh peeling off of my back. In numbing pain, I had no clue what they were saying. The only words that I could comprehend was America is coming. Hearing my only little girl screaming for help, the only hope I could hold on to out of all nations was America. Feeling my hand snap out of place for some odd reason I began to quote scripture, “Yea, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me…” and here I sat, chained to a wall and cement floor on foreign lands watching them drag what was left of my daughter out of the room, I begged them to stop. Shaking uncontrollably, I had to keep asking God to help me. I had to trust in something. I had to believe that the land that I swore allegiance to would come to the rescue. My life was now in God’s hands, the words that played over and over again in my mind were, In God we Trust. Nearly lifeless, I will repeat myself, I had to trust in something, because in reality, I would never be the same.

The Hostages 

The Cleansing

At first I heard thunder.

It was like fire falling from the sky and people were screaming.

Wait, it was a little foggy in the dream, but I think they were migrating to one spot.

The screams were kind of silent, but they all looked tired and restless.

From a bird’s eye distance it looked like the land was burning.

In this reckoning, I felt like I personally had been held aside as collateral for what was yet to come.

It was as though something was telling me to watch and take records.

It was justifiable to them that I watch for they saw things through my eyes.

It was as though a force had been unleashed to cleanse souls or the earth.

After the fire stopped falling from the sky it became quiet.

Everyone, for some reason kept coming to my camp for comfort and food. 

The last thing I remember from the dream was a line of innocent people that had been spared.

Whatever or whoever was assigned to cleanse the land, the work was done—Finished, they or it showed no mercy.

I then heard the voice say, “The world is better now, smile and be happy.

Keep it clean or we will be back”.

The Cleansing